Nerd Humor

Published 4/20/2008 by byahne in Humor

Yes, by trade...  I'm proud to say I'm a nerd.  Here are some of my favor nerd jokes.  The first one is by far my favorite.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. 

 

Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

 

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.

 

Optimists say the glass is half full.
Pessimists say the glass is half empty.
Engineers say the proportions of the glass are twice that which is required.

 

To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.

Be the first to rate this post

  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

The life of a consultant

Published 4/20/2008 by byahne in Humor

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business...... Now give me back my dog."

Currently rated 2.0 by 1 people

  • Currently 2/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

Sometimes all too true...

Published 4/20/2008 by byahne in Humor

Be the first to rate this post

  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

yahne.com

an eclectic collection of everything yahne